MAGGIE: So I’ve been thinking. You know how one of my biggest goals in life is to create a shot-by-shot remake of Wham’s “Last Christmas” video?
HUSBAND: Wait. What?
M: “Last Christmas.” Classic Wham. Remake.
H: I have no idea what those words mean.
So I busted out the video in all its mulleted-hair, reindeer-sweatered, Eskimo-hooded glory.
HUSBAND: You realize there’s snow in this video. And we live in Palm Springs.
MAGGIE: Hello, MOUNTAINS ACROSS THE STREET. We just need to wait for the next snowfall and then go up the tram.
H: Fine. That’s not until, like, November, but I’m not going to argue. So which character would you be?
M: The girl with the curly hair.
H: And who would I be?
M: Well, I thought you’d make a very nice Andrew Ridgeley. With a wig, of course.
H: Which one is he?
M: He’s the guy who hangs on my arm while I shoot longing looks across the table at George Michael.
H: Oh great. So I’m the guy who gets cheated on?
M: No! George Michael is my former flame! Haven’t you been paying attention to the video?
H: I was, but I got confused.
M: It’s all about the broach. FOLLOW THE BROACH.
H: This video makes no sense.
M: Hrumph. I don’t know what you’ve been doing since 1984, but clearly you weren’t watching any important videos.
H: Why were you involved with George Michael in the first place?
M: It’s like you don’t know me at all.