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Month of fun: Days 10-14

September 14, 2011

MOVING. That is all I have been doing lately. Every waking moment has been consumed by this great migration: Sorting, packing, hauling, lifting, loading, unpacking, cleaning. And there couldn’t be a worse time to relocate in the desert. I felt like I could ignite at any second.

I’m also on a debt diet, trying to rein in my spending while I save up money for bigger projects and investments. So I haven’t made any wacky, frivolous purchases.

On top of that, I’m doing a wheat-free, sugar-free, alcohol-free, low-fat, low-cal (and many other hyphenated words) detox right now. So I couldn’t even crack open a cold beer on moving day, toast the new apartment with a glass of bubbly or indulge in some well-deserved dark chocolate. Hrumph.

Put all of that together, and you don’t have a lot of room for fun — not even when you’re forcing it. I have been grumpy and snippy and sweaty for almost a week straight. It’s a wonder I’m still married.

Day 10

Lowlight: Packing. How is it possible to spend one year of my life with just a backpack, yet have an entire apartment crammed full of stuff? Where did it all come from? Why am I putting it in boxes?

Highlight: The final night in our tiny, smelly apartment! I celebrated by finally using the Lush Comforter bubble bar that I’ve been saving for a special occasion. It smells like blackcurrant and magically turns the bath water pleasantly purple with stacks of creamy bubbles. It’s like submerging yourself in straight-up Prozac.

 

Day 11

Lowlight: Instead of hiring a moving van, The Husband and I opted to make hundreds of trips back and forth in his Honda Civic hatchback. This is officially the last time I will ever follow-through on one of our “bright” ideas.

Highlight: Our friends Shad and Xochitl came over with their SUV to give us a hand with the big stuff. With the mattress, we simply stuck it on top of the vehicle. No rope, because we’re badasses like that. (Also because we didn’t have any rope.) Then we rolled down the windows and desperately clung to the bed as we rolled through town. Some people might call that “illegal.” I call it “minimalist.”

Here’s Xochitl, my partner in crime.

 

Day 12

Lowlight: All the stuff that goes along with moving, including piles of boxes, the inability to locate anything important and two severely traumatized pets who wouldn’t come out from under the bed.

Highlight: First full day in the new place! I unpacked enough kitchen supplies to make a huge batch of soup, so the apartment would smell like a home. The scent also lured in a couple of neighbors who wanted to find out what I was cooking.

 

Day 13

Lowlight: Cleaning the old apartment. Cleaning until my nails were stripped and my skin began flaking off. Cleaning until I was pale and withered.

Apparently, what sunlight does to vampires, that’s what cleaning does to me.

Highlight: Taking my dog, Lemon, out for a walk in the thunderstorm. I hate that I’m one of those people who puts her dog in a raincoat, but alas, I am — much to the delight of my cooing, giggling neighbors.

Here’s an old photo of Lemon in her action fleece. (She doesn’t hang around long enough in the rain for a photo.)

 

Day 14

Lowlight: More cleaning in an effort to get our deposit back. I personally consider the deposit to be a renter’s tax, so I dismiss it as a lost cause. I know it’s rare to actually receive the full amount back, and if you believe that time is more important than money (which I do), then why waste it on scrubbing down an old space?

The Husband, however, would have Magic Erasers surgically implanted on his hands if he could. He’d be Edward MagicEraserHands, and he’d star in the lamest Tim Burton movie ever. He believes in the deposit, and he is willing to fight for it.

So we cleaned. And cleaned. And I think we left the place in better condition than when we moved in.

Highlight: Sat on the patio of my new home and savored a cup of steamy hot tea. Home sweet home at last.

 

Month of fun: Day 7

September 7, 2011

My husband and I picked up the keys to our new apartment. Whee!

 

In our whole 8-year relationship, this is the first time we’ve moved into a place together.

First, he moved into my apartment in Cincinnati. Then I ended up moving to Palm Springs by myself, and he had to stay behind for a while. And when I went on my trip, he moved into a one-bedroom bachelor pad.

But this? This is our little nest.

Month of fun: Day 3

September 3, 2011

Tonight, when it’s so late it barely even qualifies as today, I’m going to a birthday party!

You guys, I am such a birthday person, probably because my earliest ones were so unremarkable. I only remember three of them: The year I received an umbrella instead of Pink & Pretty Barbie; the time my mom splurged on a Snow White cake with a plastic figurine, candy dwarves and jellybean rocks; and a celebration at Showbiz Pizza that ended with a grubby bucket of vomit, five sobbing children and a Care Bear stained with pepperoni grease.

Nowadays, I go out of my way to make every birthday memorable, whether that means attending trapeze school, riding roller coasters or skydiving in my underwear. And I compile these activities, parties and experiences into a full week of festivities that I call Maggie Gras.

It’s a lot like Mardi Gras but with fewer beads.

I figure the aging part doesn’t matter as much as celebrating the passage of time in an explosively fun way.

My birthday mantra goes something like this:

I believe in the power of wearing a tiara all day long. Even to work. (But why didn’t you call in sick to work?)

 

I believe in special brunch foods, prepared extra fancy — preferably served in a watermelon bowl.

 

I believe in enough cheap flowers to blanket the dining room table.

 

I believe in surprises, thoughtfulness and burning candles in a bowl of soy ice cream.

 

I believe in gin martinis and frou-frou cocktails.

 

I believe in all the tiny magic that walks hand in hand with birthdays.

 

Unfortunately, my birthday obsession spills over to the other important people in my life. My husband — who is decidedly not a birthday person — has reluctantly warmed up to getting a car filled with balloons, heart-shaped pancakes, public serenades, birthday card scavenger hunts, pinatas and the birthday sombrero.

Lucky for him, I balance all this birthday love by hating Christmas and weddings.

 

A month of fun: Day one

September 1, 2011

When I was on the road, each day was an adventure. I was meeting new people, sampling new foods, seeing new sights and opening my arms to every new experience that came my way. In short, I was having a blast.

It’s no surprise then that coming home has been a little bit of a bummer. It feels like the same boring, old thing because it IS the same boring, old thing. I haven’t done anything new or different or exciting in a month.

This morning, however, I woke up to an apartment full of love notes from The Husband. It started with a Post-It on the coffeemaker, which led to a note on my computer, on a book, on the front door and so on.

 

And no, it’s not our anniversary. He just did it for no reason at all.

It was so sweet it practically made my teeth ache, but it was also downright fun to make beautiful discoveries in what would have been a normal routine. That’s when I got to thinking: I bet there are fun things all over my daily life. I just haven’t been open enough to explore them.

There’s only one thing that controls how vibrant my life is. ME. It’s not about where I am. It’s more about who I am.

And that brings me to my new project for September: Do something fun every day.

I’m borrowing the idea from a couple other bloggers who did it first, documenting their months of fun in July and August. (So I’m a little late to the party … what’s new?) Every day, or as often as I can, I’ll report back and tell you how the project is going. Hopefully you’ll tell me about the fun you’re finding too.

I’m head over heels for this idea already. It’s about making the deliberate choice to embrace adventure. It’s taking a hammer to the old routine and smashing it into bits. It’s about being inspired.

Today’s fun thing: I visited The Husband at work and brought him lunch.

This won’t be a regular thing, unfortunately. It won’t be long before his days will be filled with students, parent-teacher conferences and paperwork, and he’ll be squeezing peanut butter and jelly in between his other obligations.

But today none of that was a concern, as it’s still early in the year. He’s still sticking posters to the wall, organizing books, setting up computers. So I surprised him in the middle of the day, we pulled a couple of school desks together in his classroom and enjoyed a meal together.

 

Home is where the sad is

August 8, 2011

Well, I’m officially back in Palm Springs, but I’m having trouble readjusting to life here.

 

Part of that is because I’m not returning to the home I left behind. Just before I began my year-long trip around the world, The Husband and I moved into a smaller, more affordable place. (It was pointless for him to live in a two-bedroom, two-bathroom condo by himself, and it was easier for us to financially manage a small apartment.) We moved into this apartment just a few days before I hit the road.

While I was gone, The Husband unpacked all the boxes I left behind. In order to squeeze everything into dollhouse-sized closets, he vacuum packed all of my clothes. He erected metal shelving units to hold everything that wouldn’t fit into drawers and cupboards, he developed a special folding system for the bathroom towels, and he found the most counterintuitive location for the coffee mugs. He really did a lot of work to turn this apartment into his home.

Toss me into that recipe, and it’s confusing. I’m a stranger here. I don’t know where to put away my pajamas, I can’t locate the can opener and I shut the shower door in a way that causes water to leak all over the floor.

Then there are the inevitable weird, awkward, wonderful bits about being back in the Western world. In no particular order:

* I forget the water here is safe. I hesitate to run my toothbrush under the tap. I instinctively ask for no ice in my drinks. I can’t believe I can drink straight from the tap.

* Toilets flush. (And you can put toilet paper in them!)

* I have more clothes than I know what to do with.

* When I have to charge my electronics, I can plug them in without a converter.

* I don’t have to carry a roll of toilet paper in my bag anymore.

* Most everyone speaks English.

* When I wake up, I know exactly where I am.

* Severe sticker shock. Everything feels incredibly expensive here, which makes shopping miserable. Plus, I look at price tags and mentally calculate how many rural Ugandans could be fed for the same amount.

* The abundance of everything everywhere is overwhelming. And those who take it for granted make me angrier than I ever thought possible.

* Things here feel complicated, crowded, commercialized.

So, yeah. This has actually been the most difficult terrain for me to navigate. Roaming gave me a direction I never had when I stayed in one place — so now that I’m officially in one place, I don’t know where to go. People keep asking me about my “plan,” and I honestly don’t know what to tell them.

I’ve been very depressed, to a point where I don’t even enjoy interacting with other people or leaving my house. I don’t even know how to be social anymore. I don’t like answering superficial questions about my trip, and I know I bore people when I talk in-depth about the things that feel important to me now. I know I’m supposed to be happy and content here in the U.S., but surprisingly, this feels like the most foreign place I’ve been.

On one of my first days back, a friend asked me a question about my trip. I started to respond, “Well, when I was in Thailand …” She cut me off and mocked me, saying, “Oh, so now you’re one of those insufferable people who starts stories by saying, ‘Well, when I was in Thailand …'” She made me feel like trash, as if I have to squelch the all experiences that have been so invigorating, motivating and challenging in the past year. That kind of thing makes me wonder why I came back at all.

To be clear, not everything is bad. I’m thankful for hot showers, Twizzlers, swimming pools and real coffee. It’s really nice to crawl into bed without checking for cockroaches first. And I love spending time with my real-life husband, not just an image on Skype.

 

Of course I’m grateful for all the adventure, fun and surprise I’ve had during my travels, and I don’t regret anything about this trip. It’s just that after spending 12 months pining for Palm Springs, I thought this part would be easier.

I wish they made a Lonely Planet guide for home.