Color me 2012

January 10, 2012

Lately I’ve had a love affair with the color gray.

It’s like black but more interesting. It’s wolves, whales and windy days. It’s skyscrapers and storms, newsprint and concrete, sweatpants and sacks of thunder. It’s the color of Charlotte Bronte’s eyes and Morrissey’s soul. It’s a tone in transition, darkness striving to be light.

It is an Ansel Adams photo.

 

This has been driving my best friend crazy. “What is it with you and stupid, gloomy gray everywhere?”

“I think gray is cozy.”

“It is cozy — but for a mushroom soup, not for you,” she said. “Now stop it.”

I’m not sure if color dictates one’s mood or if it’s the other way around, but there has to be something to it. Because I’ve been feeling sulky and a little overcast lately, which is either the cause or the effect of all this gray.

Maybe that’s why Pantone — the authority on color — annually makes a hue forecast for the coming year. Because color is supposed to motivate, inspire, inject energy into your days.

For 2012, they chose Tangerine Tango. They suggest buying tangerine clothes, painting an accent wall tangerine or pulling together some tangerine accessories.

 

This is what Leatrice Eiseman, executive director of the Pantone Color Institute, said about the color in a press release: “Reminiscent of the radiant shadings of a sunset, Tangerine Tango marries the vivaciousness and adrenaline rush of red with the friendliness and warmth of yellow, to form a high-visibility, magnetic hue that emanates heat and energy.”

Oh, please. I think it looks like a blushing construction barrel, an overripe pumpkin, a forgotten pair of stripper panties. It is for people who can’t quite commit to either red or orange.

But, then again, I’m not the authority on color. I wear gray, remember?

My best friend, on the other hand, is totally a chartreuse person.

 

She was completely swayed to the chartreuse side after seeing Angelina Jolie’s interview on “60 Minutes.”

 

At that point, my friend declared chartreuse to be a way of life.

“This color is perfection,” she said. “It’s like dollar bills dipped in gold. It’s unconventional. It startles. It’s murky. It is a sticky swamp. It is a city bathed in dirty lights. I love it.”

So my best friend gave me some homework. My task now is to come up with a new color for 2012. Not gray. And not beige either — I already tried that. (“Beige is so 2005,” my friend said. “Somebody needs to alert the desert tortoise.”)

 

 

I definitely can’t choose tangerine tango. (Honestly, I don’t know if I could ever be tangerine tango.)

Yellow is too sunny and cloying.

Red is too stoplight.

Teal looks like every Palm Springs pool.

Purple is for unicorns.

But maybe, just maybe, I could step out of my gray shell and get comfortable settling into a deep, satisfying green.

 

It’s the essence of growth. The color of emeralds and unraveling leaves and mossy hillsides after a rain. The color of go, go, go and full speed ahead — exactly what I anticipate for the year in front of me.

So what’s your color of 2012?

Top 14 songs of 2011

December 31, 2011

Do you remember Tom Cruise in “The Firm,” how he was constantly running? That’s how I feel about 2011.

 

I spent the first seven months of this year traveling overseas. Then I returned to California, where I moved to a new apartment, started a new job, began grad school and made some new friends. It was a year of movement, of being in flux, of constant motion.

It’s no wonder I could barely catch up with pop culture this year. Until August, I was more familiar with Thai karaoke tunes than anything on Pitchfork. My friends had to sit me down and explain Nicki Minaj. And I still have no idea what a Bruno Mars is, nor do I care.

So it was actually a struggle to compile this year’s list of 14 favorites. (Why 14 songs? Because 11 wasn’t enough, 12 is stupid, and I’m too superstitious to do 13.)  The list is a little disjointed and disconnected, but hey — that reflects my 2011 just fine.

 

Alabama Shakes “I Found You”

Take everything I love about the Black Keys and dip it in sweet tea. And then add a woman with a super-powered set of pipes. That’s Alabama Shakes. They’re still a really young and uneven band, but this song is a true standout.

 

Alexander “Truth”

You know that guy who fronts Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes? Did you think his name was Edward Sharpe? Me too. Well, we were wrong. His name is Alexander, and this is his hip hop-inspired jam.

 

Beirut “Santa Fe”

His voice sounds like crying. And sometimes that makes me happy.

 

Blood Orange “Sutphin Blvd.”

Dev Hynes creates music that is like nothing I’ve ever heard before. It’s layered, cinematic, complicated … I don’t even know how to really describe it. This song takes me by the hand and leads me into a place I thought I forgot a long time ago.

 

Booker T. Jones ft. Yim Yames “Progress”

Pure magic. Classic R&B underneath the golden voice of My Morning Jacket’s vocalist. I just want to preserve this sound in a little glass case forever.

 

The Cave Singers “Swim Club”

I remember being 16 in a humid Ohio summer. Driving back roads with my friends on starless nights full of potential. Laughing until I choked. Feeling like I would never get old. This song sounds like that.

 

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr. “Simple Girl”

They come really close to being the modern Beach Boys. The harmonies just kill me.

 

Friends “I’m His Girl”

This song does the 80s better than the 80s ever did.

 

Gotye “Somebody That I Used to Know”

Oh, how this song wounds me. It’s a slow lead-up to a powerful payoff. Love it. I’m pretty sure I’ve cried more than once while listening to this.

 

Los Campesinos! “By Your Hand”

I saw this Welch band play a few years ago at Coachella. They were so sweet and self-deprecating, I was utterly charmed by them. They’re not the strongest or most solid band, but I appreciate their energy and exuberance. They get better every year.

 

M83 “Midnight City”

My choice for song of the year. I don’t understand it — usually electronic synth pop leaves me more than a little cold — but this song is melancholy in a good way, the way that makes me ache for something unknown. It climbs right into that hollow space underneath my breastbone, settles in and stretches its legs.

 

Papa “I am the Lion King”

How fun is this band? They are everything fizzy and California.

 

Toro Y Moi “Still Sound”

It’s weird how this song sounds simultaneously like 1981 and 2011. It’s like watching “3-2-1 Contact” on my iPhone.

 

tUnE-yArDs “Bizness”

This one is just here for the video, which is awesome.

 

Wishlist

December 12, 2011

Are you a wealthy, benevolent benefactor? Excellent! I happen to be a happy, willing recipient of goods.

Let me present you with my Christmas list.

1. The Paris Review sports pen. For active, on-the-go literati.

Because you never know where you’re gonna be when you need to write shit down. With a fountain pen.

 

2. Fancy, lace-up boots.

My theory is that completely illogical boots draw attention away from my enormous nose.

 

3. Purity ring.

Back when I was a teen, virginity wasn’t really a trend. So now I feel like I was cheated out of some awesome chastity jewelry.

 

4. Leica X1.

As far as cameras go, this is the equivalent of Ryan Gosling. And it too has incredible core muscles.

 

5. Donation to the Landmine Relief Fund.

At the risk of going all Sarah McLachlan and bumming you out with something super serious, this NGO does incredibly important work in Cambodia.

Basically, Cambodians live on land that is KILLING THEM. Literally. There are millions of explosives still buried throughout the country, on farms, in villages, all over fields and forests, and they are wildly efficient. So the Landmine Relief Fund sends in trained professionals, who risk their own lives to save their neighbors.

I mean, I’m not going to dig up a landmine, right? So I might as well support the people who do.

 

6. A rainbow machine.

Does this really need explanation? IT’S A RAINBOW MACHINE.

 

7. High Falls stunt class.

This course will be an essential part of my ninja training.

 

8. Morse code bracelet.

It’s not really a curse word if it’s spelled out in delicate, gold Morse code, is it?

 

9. Go Pro camera.

You wouldn’t believe how often I could use a helmet cam.

 

10. Coffee mug from The Rumpus.

Because I do.

 

Woe is me: Requests from my sickbed

November 29, 2011

I don’t get sick very often — so when I do, I am the center of the sick universe.

I wrap myself in afghans and drape myself over the furniture as though I am one tiny, trembling breath away from fainting. I remind those around me of my tragic illness. I hold the back of my hand to my forehead, and I say “woe” a lot.

Put me in a Yorkshire manor, and you’ve got yourself a Brontë character.

 

To those poor souls who have the bad fortune of being around me when I’m sick, I apologize. I know I ask for a lot of things, often speculating that it’s my “last request,” and sometimes I can be quite irrational about obtaining these bizarre items.

In no particular order, here are the things I’ve requested during my most recent cold/flu/virus:

Old INXS songs.

A grapefruit.

The Best of P.M. Dawn CD.

To be magically beamed inside this lovely Audrey Tautou Chanel No.5 commercial.

Blueberry gum.

Spaghetti-Os.

A cold washcloth.

A hot bath.

The “Biggie and Tupac” documentary.

My flannel pajama pants with the monkeys on them.

Vicks.

For the air outside to not smell so much like Denny’s.

Orange juice.

Leeches to get the bad blood out.

Many episodes of “Monk.”

Light blue nail polish.

The Relaxman Relaxation Capsule. (Only $39,995!)

Peppermint tea.

Something that “tastes purple.”

A new set of lungs.

My ashes to be scattered in the Ganges.

 

The good news is that my friends and loved ones don’t have to put up with this very often. In fact, I’m already feeling better.

Fake limbs and forced sobriety: My first night in Rwanda

November 28, 2011

NOTE: Rwanda ended up being one of the highlights on my round-the-world trip. The first few days, however, were a little bumpy. This is the story of my first night in Kigali.

 

They call Rwanda “the land of 1,000 hills,” but I couldn’t see any of them from my room inside a prosthetic limb factory.

I was paying $35 a night for an excessively tall jail cell, fashioned from windowless walls that loomed cold and hard at least 25 feet high. The mosquito net above the bed looked like it had been vomited out by the ceiling. It sagged with knots on one side and was peppered with golfball-sized holes on the other.

A smaller stone wall partitioned off the bathroom, consisting of a shower head, a clogged drain, a wobbly sink and a toilet that didn’t flush. For an extra $10 a night, I could have received an “upgrade,” which meant that the owner would turn on the hot water, but my budget was too small to indulge in such luxuries.

 

I wasn’t even sure what I was doing in Rwanda, although it was easy enough to form a number of rationalizations. I had already spent a month in Uganda, and it was time to add another African country to the list. I was looking for a place to volunteer for a few weeks, and Rwanda sounded as good as anywhere else. And Rwanda is small and manageable, about the same size as Maryland.

Plus I really liked the movie, “Hotel Rwanda.” I imagined a land populated by 10 million Don Cheadles.

 

It helped that it was an incredibly simple border jump from Kampala, Uganda, to Kigali, Rwanda. The bus journey took just 8 hours — that’s lightning speed in African bus time — and cost only 25,000 Ugandan shillings — about $10. So what did I have to lose?

I arrived in Rwanda with no map, no plan and no idea where to stay. When the bus stopped at Kigali’s clogged and smelly Nyabugogo market, where every step involved a piece of garbage or rotting entrails, I simply hopped into a cab and asked the driver to take me someplace safe. And that is how I was steered to a prosthetic leg factory on the outskirts of town.

 

After I checked in, it was too late to travel 15 miles into the city but still too early to go to bed, so I explored the property instead. In the windows of my building, firestorms of sparks illuminated men in welding masks, constructing limbs for thousands of people who had been maimed during the 1994 genocide. On my way to the hostel bar, I stumbled over a stray fake leg.

The bar was reggae-themed, with portraits of Bob Marley sagging from mossy beams of wood. Steel-drum music blared from tinny speakers on top of the beer refrigerator. I perched on a leaning bar stool and ordered a Primus, the Budweiser of Rwandan beer.

“Primus for boys,” the bartender said, her face as flat and hard as a river stone.

“Um, that’s OK. I’ll take a Primus anyway,” I said.

“No.”

“Er, OK. Fine. I guess I’d like an Amstel?”

“No.”

“Are there any drinks I can have?”

“No. You already too drunk, lady,” the bartender said, matter-of-factly. “You don’t even know what you want to drink.”

With that, she dismissed me. This was my introduction to the incredibly frustrating task of communicating my desires in Rwanda, but it wouldn’t be the last. Only an hour later I would have the following exchange with the manager of the hostel/limb factory:

“Do you have a kitchen?”

“Oh, yes,” he said, smiling, but offering no follow-up.

“Is it a kitchen that guests can use?”

“Oh, yes,” he said, again with a wide grin.

“May I use the kitchen?”

“Oh, no.” With that, he walked away. No explanation.

Sober and hungry, I took deep yoga breaths to avoid punching anyone in the face. I grumbled to myself and kicked rocks all the way back to my room. There was a 4-month-old, smashed Bolivian granola bar in the bottom of my pack, so I ate that and threw curses at the blank wall of my cell. I paced the concrete floor like I was trapped inside a mental institution. I felt weak with an absence of power.

Just as my pity party was hitting its climax, the one lightbulb in the room gave up and went dark, as if it committed suicide.

I cried. I cried as the room remained frustratingly dark. I cried as mosquitos flew through my protective net and into my ears. I cried as the toilet spontaneously belched foul water onto the floor. Then I thought about how I had no real reason to cry in a land of genocide and unspeakable horror, and that made me cry harder. I cried for people I’d never known and the people I never would and all the ache in between.

That night I dreamt of malaria and detached body parts.