Pregnancy Week 21: The Cat’s in My Cradle

I ended up spending a lot of time at home the past several days, which is why this week has been all about my cat.

Kung Pao Kitten has always been loving and cuddly, but my pregnancy has made him even more so. Like, affectionate x 1,000. Every time I sit, he clambers onto my belly and makes it his home, as if he’s a hen on a nest, trying to hatch an egg.

This guy.

When I sleep, it’s with a cat slung across my middle. When I wake up, it’s with a cat in my face. And when I stand up, he leaps into my arms and sprawls out on my shoulders.

The purrfect companion. (Get it? See what I did there?)

This is why I think the baby will come out purring. It’s possible that my uterus is like Dr. Doolittle and can talk to the animals.

Oh. The dog is here too.

Also, I’ve had a lot of irrational anxiety this week. This is where having a logical, math/science guy husband is frustrating comes in handy. For instance, the other day I didn’t do any of my normal errands because I suddenly became scared and sad and didn’t want to leave the house. Then I told The Husband about it.

ME: Well, I was afraid the baby might fall out.

HIM: Fall out? Is that something that happens?

ME: I think it has happened to someone.

HIM: The baby just falls out?

ME: Yes. I’m pretty sure that happens. I read something online …

HIM: What are your sources? How often does this happen? What are the statistics on this? How often do babies just fall out?

ME: I mean, I don’t think anyone keeps numbers on that kind of thing.

I’m also leaving for Seattle this week. Normally I’m a girl who loves planes — I’m an Air Force brat, I love to fly, I even maintain a top five list of favorite aircraft — but I’ve suddenly become a nervous flier. So I told The Husband I am unsure about going to Seattle now.

HIM: Did the doctor say it was OK for you to fly?

ME: Yes. It’s just … well, I think the baby might explode.

HIM: Has a baby ever exploded on an aircraft? Ever?

ME: I think so. It’s something to do with cabin pressure.

I’ve also been obsessively following the pregnancy of JWoww, of “Jersey Shore” fame, since she and I are expected to give birth around the same date. We’re pregnancy twinsies! Frustratingly, she still seems to have abs.

See? She looks great.

It makes me worry that I’m getting too big or maybe I’m not using enough self-tanner.

Irrational fears aside, here’s how everything else is going this week.

Baby: 10.5 inches long. Depending on the pregnancy app, baby is either the size of a pomegranate or a small cantaloupe or a carrot.

Listen, I thought this comparing-baby-to-food thing was charming at first, and it certainly made trips to the market with my husband more fun — “Look, a lime! Awww, this is what our baby looks like! But not green or nubby!” But now it’s starting to weird me out. Especially when none of my resources agree about basic size. Or shape. Or even type of produce.

Exercise: I’ve still been walking, hiking and doing yoga, but pregnancy is starting to affect my stamina and center of balance. It’s not too bad yet — just something I’ve noticed.

Cravings: Lots of berries. Chips and salsa. I also ate my weight in homemade hummus this week.

Total weight gain: 10 pounds. That seems about right on track for a person who is not part of the “Jersey Shore” cast.

Belly: Big. I think everything popped this week. I can barely tie my sleepy-time shorts anymore.

Whoa, baby.

One of my pregnancy iPhone apps shows me what my body would look like if it were split in half, kind of like a dollhouse. To be honest, I should have paid more attention in health class, because until now, I wasn’t quite sure how everything fit together in there.

So this is where babies come from.