New Year’s Eve 2017: A brief screenplay
INT. MAGGIE’S HOUSE – NIGHT
ME: We have to do the thing where we eat 12 grapes at midnight to bring luck in the coming 12 months.
HUSBAND: What?
ME: It’s a thing. They do it in Spain.
HUSBAND: But why do we have to do it?
ME: I’m not going to risk it. I’ll take all the luck I can get.
HUSBAND: Fine.
ME: Oh, we also have to sit under the table when we do it. Or leaping over the threshold of our home? I can’t remember. Anyway, I have to wash the grapes. Meet me under the table in 5 minutes.
INT. UNDER THE KITCHEN TABLE – FIVE MIN. LATER
HUSBAND: Are you sure we have squeeze under the table to do this? My back hurts.
ME: Pretty sure. Now hush. Eat your grapes.
HUSBAND: I don’t even like green grapes. You’ll have to finish mine.
ME: Great. I’ll be the only prosperous one. Fine with me.
HUSBAND: It’s not even midnight.
ME: It’s well past midnight in Spain.
HUSBAND: (chewing)
ME: Maybe we could have just had a glass of wine instead.
HUSBAND: (still chewing)
ME: Also I think I made up the table thing.