Despite the awesomeness of this trip, I’m focusing on all the bad things that could happen. And I’m not talking about the usual travel misfortune — getting chewed by bedbugs, having a few bucks stolen by a pickpocket, misplacing my passport.
No, I have all of these stupid, irrational fears — admittedly enhanced by Hollywood — that keep clogging up my brain.
So in an effort to get this stuff out of my head once and for all, here are my top 10 completely ridiculous fears about traveling around the world.
1. Brain-eating parasites.
2. Sliding off a glacier and plunging to my death. (Possibly with my corpse encased in ice until the end of time.)
3. Having all of my earthly possessions stolen in a place where I am unable to speak the language, leaving me to wander the streets, alone, dirty and sad.
4. Kidnapped and sold … for far less than what I’m worth.
5. Running out of money just two months into the trip.
6. Befriended by a charming man who asks me to hold a package that turns out to be heroin, and then I’m seized by police and tossed into a rough women’s prison.
7. Monkey bites! From rabid monkeys! Or even just healthy ones.
8. Never quite getting the hang of pooping in squatter holes.
9. A huge, rolling boulder that threatens to flatten me unless I escape from the temple in the nick of time.
10. Coming out of this experience unchanged, just broke.
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